Things Morph is no longer allowed to do
1. I am not allowed to keep my pet shark in the school pool.
2. I am not allowed to have a pet shark.
3. Or a piranha.
4. I am not allowed to have a pet
5. Professor Summer's correct codename is Cyclops. Not Gazer Lazer, and I may not tell new students differently.
6. Female teachers do not have 'spanking rights'
7. The student ban on drinking alcohol does not mean that a beer IV is acceptable.
8. 'Being hot' is not cause for detention
9. I may not work off detention with sexual favors. Even if the teacher agrees.
10. Plan B does not include lubricant and a ten foot pole.
11. I am not edible, nor do I taste like strawberries.
12. I am not collateral damage man
13. nor Captain Justdicks
14. Nightcrawler does not have blue balls.
15. The Danger Room is not for storing sheep
16. Having breasts do not allow me to enter the girl's locker room
17. Even if they are real.
18. I am not a member of the booty squad.
19. The pills in the medlab are not candy. Telling new students differently is wrong.
20. I may not 'pimp out' the jet.
20. May not 'pimp out' fellow students when they're asleep
21. A llama is not proper transport
22. Even if it does have jet engines.
23. ESPECIALLY if it had jet engines.
24. I may not pose as other people's clothing
25. Sock puppets are not responsible for my actions
26. Sock puppets are not responsible for their own actions
27. I am not an authorized ass inspector.
28. When asked to do a paper on my long-term goals, 'Raising an army of the deadliest mechanical monster hunting squirrels known to all of mechanical monsterkind' is not a proper answer.
29. Bring someone back intact includes redundant organs.
30. I was not sent back in time to save the world from penguins.
31. A picture of Logan naked is not a backup weapon.
32. Even if it totally worked.
33. I may not start a business called 'Bloodbath and beyond'
34. I am not God. Even though I made that flood.
35. I am not James T. Kirk. Even if I look like him.
36. I may not ask Forge to build an anti-panties device.
37. May not insert the words 'Kill Scott, Sorry Scott' into any list of instructions.
38. Covering the hall in post-its is not a good idea.
39. Kilts are not acceptable attire when representing the school at the national acrobatics tournament.
40. I am not Thor, and I may not ask if anyone wants to see my 'Mjölnir'.
